Dependent Personality Disorder: What Is It And Who Suffers From It?

The inability to be alone, an almost suffocating dependence on others, insecurity, lack of personal responsibility and an obsessive fear of being abandoned… These are the disruptive symptoms of one of the most common disorders out there, but one that least recognized and treated. We are talking about dependent personality disorder.

To understand this type of disorder a little more, let’s start with a simple example. George is 42 years old and has a job interview today. When he finishes getting dressed that morning, his wife suggests he should have put on a different tie: the tie he’s wearing is too dark, too serious. George takes it very badly, although he doesn’t say anything, and the confusion sinks in. He soon begins to wonder if the shirt and pants he chose are not the right ones, and if the shoes are any good…

Admiration and exhaustion

Amazed by doubts and fears, he tells himself that he will not get that job. Almost without realizing it, his negativity starts to build and eventually turns into an obsession. He begins to think that if he doesn’t get that job, his wife will probably leave him eventually. But his wife, who already knows what’s going through his mind, tells him that this won’t happen and that she is there to support him, that she trusts him and that there is no reason to have those irrational fears.

He seems to cheer, but Eva, his wife, takes a deep breath, feeling despair again. She knows she will have to encourage and support him all day long… and maybe all week. She knows that George may not be feeling strong enough to attend the interview. She also understands that her husband’s behavior is not normal. Sometimes it is very difficult for her to stay with him and she feels more and more exhausted. She thinks it is his personality and that he will never change.

Here, however, lies the root of the problem: thinking that this kind of behavior is normal and that nothing can be done about it. We just link the person to this personality pattern and let them do what they want and go where they want. We accept him without understanding that what he suffers from is a disorder, a disease. A type of behavior that nullifies the person and his environment.

Dependent personality disorder or the fragile ego

Among the ten types of personality disorders listed in the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), the most common is the dependent personality disorder. The condition is essentially characterized by a marked lack of self-confidence and the constant need for reassurance, assurance and support. Signs can sometimes be seen during puberty, but the symptoms are much more extreme and apparent when a person reaches the age of 40.

On the other hand, as we mentioned at the beginning, people with dependent personality disorder are rarely aware that they are suffering from an illness. They only ask for help when they’re at their wits’ end and see that they have no control over what’s going on.

Characteristics of people with dependent personality disorder

• Inability to be alone
• Avoidance of Responsibilities
• Extreme passivity
• Difficulty accepting or facing criticism
• Inability to cope with the ending of a relationship
• Obsessive fear of being abandoned
• Extreme passivity in interpersonal relationships
• Lack of initiative: They cannot make decisions without the support or advice of others.

What are the causes and how is it diagnosed? Who usually suffers from it?

It is currently unknown what causes this condition. Obviously, it appears during adulthood and some patients experience an anxiety disorder associated with the physical separation from their parents in childhood or adolescence. However, it should be noted that this is not always the case.

On the other hand, the estimated prevalence of this disease in the general population is two percent (although we know that many people will never be diagnosed). It is also more common in women than in men.

With regard to the way in which this diagnosis is made, it is important to emphasize the work of doctors. They are almost always the first point of contact, the first step towards a diagnosis, and they must refer these patients to specialized professionals.

The patient will first have a blood test to rule out any possibility of hormonal imbalance. The patient’s symptoms and medical history are then analysed.

Treatment for Dependent Personality Disorder

As with any condition, each patient is unique. Sometimes there can be more complications, such as depression, anxiety, or a personality disorder, which further increase the medical problems that need to be addressed.

However, it should not be forgotten that the combination of psychotherapy and medical treatment is very effective in most cases. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, for example, targeting thought patterns, beliefs, or the inability to make decisions, is most successful. We must not forget that these are long-term treatments, treatments that are often combined with antidepressants or tranquilizers, and where progress is regularly evaluated.

And finally, we must not forget the support of the patient’s family and friends. This close contact is the third pillar in the treatment, whereby the patient must constantly combine effort, commitment and a strong will to improve and fight for the quality of life.

Pictures of MEGHAN HOWLANDI