Difficult People And The Art Of Not Losing Yourself

Difficult people are all about arguments, criticism, blackmail, and just plain negativity in their environment. Our mental health is at risk if we are forced to deal with it on a daily basis.

It is not always possible to keep a healthy distance from them. What’s worse, asking these people to change their attitude would be useless. What should you do if you have to work or live with such a person?

The main thing is to take care of yourself. Especially since humans were created to protect themselves, build fortresses and devise strategies to take revenge or just survive.

But we forget about our well-being, which is the most fundamental thing for us. If we neglect it, our own mental and emotional energy runs out. Not only that, but we also become vulnerable.

Something very remarkable about this subject is worth considering. Sociologist Shira Offer of Bar Ilan University in Israel tells us that many of the people we consider ‘difficult’ are very close to us. For example, you may have very demanding children, parents, siblings.

Of course, we all want things to run smoothly and our daily life with these people is just rewarding. However, this is not always possible and therefore you should not just accept it.

How to deal with difficult people and not lose yourself

Difficult people can demonstrate the complexity of their character in many different ways. Some argue about everything. Some avoid any responsibility and refuse to cooperate.

Others spread rumors or paint everything black. But beyond their personality, it’s what they do or don’t do that really affects the people around them.

For example, some people have no problem with that nitpicky coworker you always try to avoid. This is because everyone has their own limit and a way of dealing with human complexity.

So, before you get too caught up in other people’s negative traits, figure out exactly what it is about them that’s bothering you. Is it their lack of respect? Is it their attitude? Is this something that triggers you for a specific reason?

With regard to this subject, the aforementioned doctor, Shira Offer, has conducted an investigation to prove a number of things. One of them: we get stressed when we deal with difficult people.

We gradually begin to experience discomfort towards them until we reach the point of tolerance. We tend to forget what we don’t like about them because we avoid them at all costs.

However, it is not always possible to run from it. This is because we are usually forced to work or live with difficult people.

Self-care and ‘second-hand’ stress

Researchers Howard Friedman and Ronald Riggio of the University of California, conducted a study in which they talk about the impact of second-hand stress.

What does it mean? And how does it relate to difficult people? We’ll tell you like this. Complex, unfavorable, critical and demanding behavior will always affect us if we have to deal with such people on a daily basis.

So, just watching someone in a state of stress, be it an insufferable co-worker or a family member arguing, ultimately affects your own nervous system. This is what secondhand stress is all about and thus affects your health.

So self-care should be your priority when dealing with difficult people. This is a form of daily exercise to strengthen the mental muscle that will protect you from such behavior. Therefore, you should devote time and effort to the following exercises:

• Claim some ‘me-time’ to relax and try not to think about the difficult people in your life.

• Learn some stress management techniques such as deep breathing, Jacobson’s relaxation technique, mindfulness, and so on.

Self-care to remember what deserves your attention and what doesn’t

Some say that things touch you as much as you allow yourself. There’s a lot of truth in this. However, it is not always easy to apply it to our immediate reality.

We all like things not to touch us so much, but it’s hard to maintain that equanimity when people of complex natures violate our rights and freedoms.

In these cases, we also need to take care of our self-care. Well-being is also about setting boundaries and knowing how to protect and even defend ourselves if we have to.

Well-being is about knowing how to control our emotions and attach importance to what really matters. It’s about not spending too much of our precious attention on things that don’t deserve it.

Feeling clear about ourselves, remembering our values ​​and needs, staying calm, and developing appropriate emotional intelligence skills can help you better manage many of these frustrating situations.

After all, everyone has at least one difficult person in their life. Therefore, you need to learn how to properly handle your relationships with them to make your life easier.