Five Strategies To Start An Interesting Conversation

Having an interesting conversation can be challenging. This is especially true for people who are particularly shy. There are occasions when we want to make a good impression on our interlocutor. We don’t want to bore that person and avoid having no subjects at all costs. All this without falling into the typical silences that seem to last an eternity.

For others, the pursuit of that eloquence is much more difficult. It can make us see ourselves as people who aren’t very interesting or don’t know what to say. That can mean we panic at the idea of ​​meeting new people. This, in turn, creates more uncertainty. Fortunately, the situation is not hopeless. You can learn to be a good conversationalist using a few simple techniques.

People who find it difficult to have an interesting conversation are often more aware of the opinions of others. It’s not that they are less interesting or that they have fewer experiences to tell. On the contrary, they are afraid that they will be judged if they say something ‘boring’ or ‘unimportant’.

The reality is that they analyze what they are going to say much more and set the bar too high. Nothing seems appealing enough to tell and that’s why they don’t. As a result, they end up without topics of conversation. They become victims of the silence they fear.

Strategies to Have an Interesting Conversation

Before we start analyzing strategies to be better interlocutors, there is something that needs to be clear. Fear of judgment, disapproval or criticism must be overcome. The way to do that is to see someone else’s opinion as it is: someone else’s judgment, which doesn’t have to match reality. After all, that opinion is based on his or her own values ​​and specific experiences.

We need to be clear that we are all sensitive to the approval of others. Most are more sensitive to that than is really necessary. Leaving that group means we are freer to do, say, and think as we please.

There is an attitude that is not unwise to have in our participation in various conversations. This is not about silencing everything that goes through our minds. It just means that we make it known in the right way. We also need to eliminate those parts that can cause unnecessary damage. Prudence, not lack of assertiveness or cowardice, is an important value that helps us strengthen our relationships.

The rule of how, where, why and when

Sometimes our interlocutors tell us a recent experience, for example about a trip. Maybe we don’t really know how to approach the conversation. Then we can use this rule. Ask questions about the story using these four tools. How did you get to Paris, by plane or by train? Where have you been? Why did you go there, for vacation or work? When were you there? This way you increase the possibilities that you can have an interesting conversation.

Find points you have in common with your interlocutor

It’s as simple as looking at the other person’s appearance and trying to deduce from that what he likes. For example, maybe he’s wearing a shirt from a rock band that you like too. You can also ask directly. Finding those commonalities are ways to make the conversation more interesting and that you click. We all like people who are similar to us. It can be very enriching to talk to them.

And what if you have nothing in common?

In that case, you have a chance to learn something! Imagine you are talking to someone who is talking about plants when you have no idea. Start asking questions. “I’ve always wanted to know more about that. What is the difference between plant x and plant y?” In the end you have an interesting conversation with that person and you also learn something. Your interlocutor notices that you know nothing about the subject, but also that you are interested. This will also help you to get a click. 

Are you interested in the other person’s life (but discreetly)

Deep down, almost all of us like it when we are asked about things in our lives. That’s because people love to talk about themselves and appreciate the opportunity to do so. We usually don’t get that many opportunities. Here are some questions you can ask that can lead to many topics of conversation. What kind of movies do you like? What music do you usually listen to? Do you like to travel? Do you have brothers and sisters? Do you like nature? And so forth. As many as you can think of.

Of course, avoid asking about a partner (because that can give the impression that you want more), work and salary (for some it’s frustrating because they’re unemployed or just fired and they don’t want to talk about that) or academic education (for some it’s their Achilles heel).

Stay up to date with current affairs

That is a good strategy because it provides new leads. Ask if they’ve seen the latest political debate and what they think. Or ask if they can recommend a certain interesting movie that you haven’t seen yet. Before you go to any social event, check out the news and have four or five topics in the back of your mind to talk about.

Here are some strategies you can start using to have an interesting conversation next time and avoid awkward silences. However, do not forget the most important. Recognize that the other person’s opinion is not as valuable as you may think and that you have the right to express your opinion, provided you do not harm anyone or anything.