Don’t Say This To Someone Who Suffers From Anxiety

What do you say to someone who suffers from anxiety? How do you react to that loved one who is about to have a panic attack? People are quick to tell them to “calm down” and not worry .

However, the effect of such words on them will be the opposite of what you expect. Yes, even if you want the best for them.

Anxiety is not something a person can control at will. That’s because the anxious brain is wired differently. There is no on/off button. In fact, the mechanism is a lot more subtle. So all you’re doing with such advice is putting further pressure on them, making them feel even more uncomfortable.

Albert Ellis points out in his book How to Make Yourself Happy that anxiety is a form of mental pain. It is usually very intense and devastating, and it completely limits human potential.

Interestingly, the first step in dealing with it better is not to block it, but to accept its presence. This is because emotional pain is another part of who people are, and no one is exempt from it.

So when confronted with someone who suffers from anxiety, don’t try to tell them to relax. Then don’t tell them not to get so obsessed and stop worrying.

Above all, don’t tell them that what they’re feeling isn’t real. Phrases like this just block communication. That way you won’t be able to understand exactly what is happening to them.

Don’t tell someone who suffers from anxiety not to worry

Someone who suffers from anxiety would like to calm down. If there’s one thing they would want, it’s to stop feeling that pain in their stomach. Why would anyone want to feel muscle tension and palpitations?

The rumble of disturbing thoughts that are so hard to control is not a pleasant feeling. So people who experience this psychological reality often feel as if they are about to have a heart attack. Sometimes they also feel like they are losing all control.

So telling someone in fear not to worry is like telling a drowning person to get out of the water. They can’t help it and in reality they need some other form of help from you.

However, there is one more thing to keep in mind: anxiety often appears without warning. So it is not necessary to be under stress in a difficult situation.

In fact, the fear demon shows up in the most innocent and unsuspected situations. When it happens to you, it’s very common for someone close to you to keep telling you that there is nothing to worry about. That everything is fine and that you are doing it to yourself. As you can see, such suggestions only aggravate the situation.

Less advice and more empathy

Don’t tell anxious people not to worry. Also, don’t tell them to relax and face reality. Don’t do these two things, for one simple reason: because the fear-trapped brain won’t listen when it’s on standby.

It is unable to process orders, suggestions and well-intentioned advice. If you do, you will soon see the futility of your advice. Because if there’s one thing a fearful person does expect, it’s your empathy.

Sometimes the best course of action is to say nothing. It’s enough to be there for them and let them know they can count on you for whatever they need.

There will soon be an opportunity to look for suitable strategies. Sometimes, though, it’s best to just be yourself. To be a rock in the surf for those dealing with their tides, crises and storms.

A study conducted by the Department of Psychopharmacology at the University of Chemin de Ronde , in Paris, says that the brain of a person with anxiety is controlled by cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

They say that it is very difficult to think in such a state, so that any advice under these circumstances is of little use.

What should you tell someone with fear?

If you’re wondering what might say to someone who suffers from anxiety, the answer is simple: say less, do more. Instead of giving well-intentioned advice, observe and be there for them. Try to understand what they are going through. Above all, understand that there are many types of fear. That which is suitable for one person may not be for another.

So the best thing you can do is ask or say things like:

• “ Do you want me to stay with you? “
• “ I know you are under stress right now and it seems you have no control over it, so in the meantime let’s breathe together .”

Sometimes it is enough for someone to have a serene and reassuring presence. Later on you may be able to help them get help, but in the meantime you know how to be there for someone and show affection and empathy. It’s easier than it looks.