Compassion Opens Your Heart And Makes You Happier

Compassion is our ability to understand and alleviate or lessen the suffering of another. The concept of compassion is simpler and more intense than that of empathy, because it invites us to want to help end the suffering of another.

Self-esteem, on the other hand, gives us a compassionate attitude toward ourselves, especially when things don’t go the way we planned. Learning how to develop compassion is a skill that can help us feel happier and more satisfied with our daily lives, as long as we don’t abuse it.

Psychologist and researcher Paul Gilbert created a therapy centered on compassion. He points out that feeling is not the same as feeling sorry for others. Rather, it is a motivation that gives us energy to help others , in a way that enables them to alleviate their own suffering with our help.

The Components of Compassion

The word compassion literally means ‘to suffer together’ or ‘to deal with feelings of compassion’. It is the feeling we get when we perceive the suffering of others and it evokes the impulsive desire to reduce it. The emotion is divided into several components:

• A cognitive component that involves paying attention and evaluating the suffering of others, as well as recognizing our own ability to act when confronted with it.
• A behavioral component that includes a compromise of each person involved and the determined decision to realize actions that help reduce suffering.
• An emotional component that motivates us to act on our instincts and trigger our emotional responses, which give us a sense of personal satisfaction. Our level of psychological well-being depends in part on the type of relationships we form with others.

Compassion opens our hearts

This emotion helps us connect with our hearts to put ourselves in the shoes of others. It opens the door to emotions, making us feel like we are living the experiences of those around us. We feel what hurts or makes them suffer.

Compassion helps us stop looking down and see what is happening around us. It reminds us that we are not alone in this world, that others are important too. In addition, if the help that is offered is honest, it will give us a tremendous sense of inner peace.

Compassion brings us closer to others and gives us the opportunity to do our best to help others, with humility and closeness. Whenever we care about someone who needs it, we expand our hearts and offer the other person sincere help.

The fear of compassion

Why don’t we use compassion more when we have so many opportunities for it? We don’t give ourselves the chance to act compassionately because our focus is not in the right place. Social neuroscience has shown that our natural impulse is to help. We are prepared to declare it from the start. So why don’t we always help?

Feeling compassion can lead us to be afraid to act for a variety of reasons. Here are some examples:

• We worry that helping others to alleviate their suffering will put us in a vulnerable position that will allow others to reject us.
• Observing the suffering of others makes us feel sadness that we may not want to feel.
• Compassion leads us to relive unresolved childhood wounds that prevent us from connecting with the suffering of others

• We fear that we will not be able to put another person’s suffering behind us once we are connected to it.
• We want to focus our attention on other things we consider ‘more important’

Self-compassion, the ability to accept ourselves as we are

Self-compassion is built by realizing our inner suffering, being able to understand its meaning, and enabling us to accept it. We must treat ourselves with affection. It’s a way to develop a loving attitude towards ourselves, especially when things don’t go as planned.

Compassion invites us to see society as a transformative force, bringing out the innermost. Rather than filling ourselves with self-criticism and judgment, self-compassion allows us to be benevolent and develop a loving adult within us, who cares for us and protects us every day. Suffering instead of distancing ourselves from humanity unites us with compassion.

Four Steps to Developing Compassion

When we perceive the suffering of others and exercise self-compassion, it is necessary to train the way we see suffering. All we have to do is realize that we are not alone, that there are always others who need help. We must not look away. This means that when we come into contact with suffering, we can feel overwhelmed by our emotions. This is our second task, learning to control the emotions that arise when we act from compassion.

Experience the suffering

Perceiving one’s own suffering and the suffering of others is the first step in feeling compassion. To do this, we need to open our hearts so that we can get in touch with our emotions. For example, if we are on the street and see someone suffering, we should take the time  to fully perceive the suffering rather than pass by as if it is not our problem.

Evaluate the suffering of others

It is important to practice these skills without judgment, otherwise we will not be able to feel compassion. Nor will it appear if we have skipped the previous step of perceiving the suffering. For example, if we think the person deserves the suffering, then compassion may not occur.

Feel the emotion fully

Opening up to emotion means allowing ourselves to fully feel the emotion and all the other feelings that accompany it. Even if it causes us some distress or discomfort. If we let ourselves be carried away by compassion, we will be able to achieve a deep sense of kindness.

For example, if we see something on the news that affects us, we should allow ourselves to cry and not block those feelings. In this way we will be free to feel compassion.

Take action

Once we can perceive the suffering of others, judge how great it is, and feel it without censorship, we must act. We can not keep this feeling purely internal. For example, get started trying to ease the suffering of a friend or family member. Give others the emotional support they so desperately need.

The positive effects of compassion

There are many positive effects for society and ourselves if we can feel compassion. For the Dalai Lama, the power of compassion is the ability to:

• Promoting the kind of education that focuses on empathy, ethics and personal development

• Creating new economic systems that are more just for society
• Recognizing that we are a single human species, where there is no division between them/us or superior/inferior
• Developing dialogue and communication instead of violence
• Reducing social inequalities by enabling greater transparency in all areas.
• Ending cultural differences, in addition to prejudice and corruption

If we incorporate compassion into our lives, we will notice significant changes. We can try to imagine that someone dear to us is suffering. We can see the effects this has on our body.  Show this person feelings of kindness and compassion and see how different you feel. Try to send good feelings to someone who doesn’t like you very much and see how you feel.

Mindfulness or awareness helps us develop this compassion that we can transfer to others. To develop compassion we will have to create a mental space, as if it were our private consultation space. Here we can observe the suffering of others and take action. That’s how we start. We each do our part to build a fairer and more generous world.

Changing society starts with treating each other better, including treating ourselves better. Practicing empathy and compassion for everyone. There are no excuses not to start today.

The sooner we begin to experience compassion, the more happiness and well-being we will be able to feel in our daily lives.