Foolish Words Call For Intelligent Ears

Hurtful words, judgments, baseless opinions, malicious criticism, etc. All these are foolish words asking for intelligent ears that will not give them any importance or give them any attention.

As they say,  ‘what Johannes says about Peter says more about John than about Peter’. So before we give importance to such ‘tips’, ‘judgments’ or ‘criticisms’ that do not offer us kindness, usefulness or truth, we must consider the intentions of the person uttering them.

Smart listening to the critic

There is no clearer sign of emotional poverty than constant and malicious criticism. Constantly dealing with silly words generally causes a lot of emotional exhaustion.

So, to nurture and protect the intelligence of us as listeners, it should be obvious that :

• We don’t need anyone else’s opinion in order to live.
• Emotions and feelings are always valid and we should not be ashamed of them.
• You have to let go of the idea that feeling and thinking about yourself is wrong.
• We must avoid attaching value to categorical statements that use absolute statements such as ‘all’ or ‘none’.
• Continuously listening to criticism and gossip can satiate us and make us feel really bad.
• We must not forget that everyone deserves respect. Leading by example helps us to safeguard our emotional well-being.
• We have to remember that unwarranted criticism comes from people who are emotionally very poor. These people live isolated in their resentment and try to convince us that we are selfish and isolate ourselves.

People who are at peace with themselves don’t talk badly about others

Another step to form a protective shield and make ourselves intelligent listeners is to learn to recognize statements that seem harmless, but in the meantime hide evil intentions.

Such statements are clearly toxic in certain contexts:

• When talking about a hobby or general skill, “I wish I had time for that” usually translates into “You don’t have as much work to do as I do,” “Free time isn’t for me, because I’m no good-for-nothing.’
• ‘It’s obvious’, ‘As everyone knows…’. No, no, no and no. Not everyone knows, nor is it always obvious. The one who uses these kinds of arguments tries to make the other person feel ignorant and, of course, make himself feel superior.

• “You have no right to say anything because you don’t know as much about the matter as I do.” No one should deprive us of the right to speak and no one should discredit us by disproving our arguments with statements such as ‘your arguments are stupid and baseless’.
• “If my teacher says it, then it’s true.” These fallacies take advantage of the idea that expert statements give more weight to certain arguments.

• “You make me feel bad .” Naming your feelings and making others responsible for these feelings is also a way of manipulating. These kinds of statements are also meant to excite the other person instead of convincing him with valid arguments.
• “Do what you want, but I’m not in.” To finish this sentence, it would be appropriate to add, “And you should feel guilty for not taking part, because you are selfish and you only think about yourself.”  That’s clear, isn’t it?

We need to spend time improving ourselves and we need to make ourselves smarter listeners. This will help us maintain a healthy attitude towards life and build our relationships based on good communication and better understanding.