In Order To Be Happy, I Make Choices
We all make choices all the time, both consciously and unconsciously. With the choices we make, we give direction to our lives, from everyday matters, such as the movie we are going to watch, to more important matters such as our beliefs, job, education, partner, etc. However, to what extent are we aware of all those choices that we make every day?
We make so many choices every day that by the end of the day these choices have already become automated and we are no longer even aware of them. This is because our brains try to conserve energy and are only activated in a quick and intuitive way when making daily or small choices.
Analyzing how our minds work when making choices, psychologist Daniel Kahneman helped win the Nobel Prize in Economics in 2002. Kahneman conducted a study to study the rational and intuitive behavior of people.
With this study, he showed that our brains make choices in two ways. A fast way: intuitive and emotional (the way we use most often) and a slightly slower way: that requires effort and is mainly rational. However, we are of course always responsible for the choices we make, this is something we cannot ignore.
How our choices shape us
The choices we have automated are closely related to our experiences, the way we were raised, the beliefs we hold and the mistakes we make. In addition, we are influenced by a lot of different factors that determine our behavior.
Do you really think that right now you are completely free to choose the best for yourself? Most of the choices we make are based on our experiences and the knowledge we have gained over the years. When we get carried away quickly and intuitively, we don’t take into account what is best for us at that moment.
The person we are today is the product of the choices we have made throughout our lives. By choosing certain behaviors and actions over others, we have gathered together a series of experiences and habits that define who we are today; in the here and now. So we cannot deny how much responsibility our choices bear.
Every choice has consequences
Responsibility means being aware of the fact that every choice you make, and don’t make, has consequences. And it is completely useless to make yourself permanently indifferent to these choices. They will affect you one way or another. We decide for ourselves whether we are the protagonist in our experiences, or whether we are just spectators.
Becoming aware of the implications and consequences of our choices is the way to take control of our existence. Even when we try to avoid making a choice, we are actually making a choice. We act indifferent, totally dependent on our experiences, without doing anything and stopping our participation in our experiences.
We complain about how our lives are, our unhappiness and how much bad luck we have. We use the victim role to solve the things we don’t understand or manipulate situations to get what we want. We turn our lives into a prison that we put together ourselves.
We can choose to live a different life, a life in which we set the rules by choosing how we will behave in certain circumstances and by taking the consequences into our own hands, regardless of our fears, insecurities or guilt. If we dare to chase away all our ghosts, then we will have exactly the life we want, without regrets.
I choose to be happy
If we really want to be happy, we can’t just sit and wait for happiness to come to us. Happiness is achieved by adopting the right attitude in the inevitable circumstances that arise throughout our lives. This requires effort, as we must make choices that will allow us to renounce for good the habits that cater to our worst fears.
I choose to be happy: I face my fears, I admit my mistakes as far as I can, accept them and correct them. I understand my insecurity, my needs, my fear and my discomfort. I do not reject everything that is part of me. I keep myself company in solitude. I let go of my sadness. I make choices so that I don’t become a victim of my circumstances, and this is how I bring about the peace in which my happiness can rest.
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