Self-esteem And Unhealthy Emotional Dependence
Humans are social beings. We love to please and to share things with others. But can the need for approval also be harmful? Yes – in fact, it’s one of the things underlying unhealthy emotional dependence.
Do you always want to please everyone, or only those who are really important to you? Who are the important people in your life? Do they really have to approve everything you do?
We invite you to ask yourself these questions and then try to answer them. It’s one thing to know what you want to do and what you want your loved ones to approve of, it’s quite another to think that certain things aren’t worth doing just because not literally everyone thinks it’s a great idea.
It’s a subtle yet important difference. Keep reading to find out how all of this can affect your well-being!
What is Unhealthy Emotional Dependence?
Emotionally dependent people have an exaggerated need for the affection, attention, and approval of others. They have an irrational fear of loneliness and abandonment, which makes them more submissive in their relationships. They also have a strong desire for exclusivity, which makes them say things like ‘I can’t live without my partner’.
As a result, they form a persistent pattern of emotional needs that they cannot meet on their own, and so they try to meet those needs by forming inappropriate bonds with others.
In other words, they develop parasitic and unequal relationships, justifying their actions by attributing them to the purpose of maintaining the relationship.
And that’s not all. Their desire for protection and affection is so intense that they completely lose themselves in the relationship in their quest to maintain it, regardless of the actual quality of the relationship.
Instead of healthy bonds, they forge intense and unstable bonds. Sure, we all want to be loved, but we wouldn’t really give anything to achieve it, would we?
How does unhealthy emotional dependence affect psychological well-being?
The problem with being overly dependent on others emotionally is that if the person doesn’t get the disproportionate attention and affection they need, they irrationally doubt their own worth and the appreciation they get from others, which negatively affects them. has on his emotions and self-esteem.
He begins to feel rejected, denied and abandoned. The resulting grief is too intense. This can lead to a vicious cycle of emotional emptiness, chronic dissatisfaction and ultimately depression.
Not only that, but the fear of being alone makes him do everything he can to avoid loneliness, which only increases his anxiety. When he suspects that he will face loneliness, he becomes extremely nervous and throws himself into toxic relationships.
Self-esteem can counter unhealthy emotional dependence
As you can imagine, emotionally dependent people have low self-esteem and think negatively about themselves. This again leads to a greater need for support and affection. They depend on others to feel good about themselves.
The only person you will spend your whole life with is you. Therefore, your well-being should not depend on the approval of others, but on yourself. This means that you are the first person to try to please with your actions.
But what can you do to love yourself more? A simple exercise is to do something every day that makes you feel good, both physically and psychologically. It may take some effort at first because most of us are not used to spoiling ourselves. Over time, however, you will begin to develop positive feelings towards yourself. This way you avoid falling victim to unhealthy emotional dependence. So go for it and love yourself!
Images courtesy of Rebecca Matthews, Adam Jang and Hope House Press.
