Don’t Ask For Something You Can’t Give Yourself
It is common in relationships, as well as between parents and children, friends, and in just about any kind of relationship. We’re talking about the kind of situation where someone makes demands, requests, or claims things with a lot of coercion, but when it’s time to give something back, they fail. Don’t ask for something you can’t give yourself.
These types of people feel that they deserve everything, but they don’t have to give anything in return. They are quick to judge others, but they are not aware of their own mistakes. They are also very manipulative and often make others believe that they have to please them. They even make others feel guilty for not following this pattern.
This person just wants to bond with someone he can exploit. However, he does it in such a way that you don’t notice it right away. He can ask a lot of you, and give little in return. If you don’t want to fall into this kind of behavior, you need to know which situations to avoid.
Don’t ask to be heard if you can’t listen
This is one of the most common cases: the people who always want to talk while others are listening to them. But when it comes time to listen to others, they yawn, are distracted, or suddenly run out of time.
This is common among parents who want their children to listen to their lessons but are unwilling to listen to what they have to say. It also happens in couples, when one of the partners becomes the support of the other, as if they have adopted the other. It also happens between friends, between teachers and students, and between colleagues.
Don’t ask to be understood if you can’t understand yourself
This situation is also common. It happens when people are constantly misunderstood. They feel different from everyone else and complain that others are indifferent. For them, being understood is a right they are born with, but which others deny them.
That is why their complaint is aimed at blaming others, as if others have an obligation that they are not fulfilling. They have not yet discovered that understanding is a flower to be grown. First in yourself, then in others.
Don’t ask for respect if you don’t respect others
You can’t claim respect, you have to earn it. To understand this, you must believe in justice. In other words, there is no other way to gain respect than to respect others, and yourself.
Sometimes people confuse respect with fear or reverence. People with authoritarian functions tend to command respect through fear and intimidation. What they get is exactly what they’re looking for: fear and submission, but no respect.
Don’t ask for peace if you sow violence
This is one of the most paradoxical cases. You see it in people yelling at others not to yell like that. Or people who desperately shout that someone else should not react so desperately.
It often happens that aggressive people ask for rest all the time. They often blame others for their violent reactions. They apparently have no control over their own emotions. If other people weren’t there, they would be very quiet. The mistakes of others, they lose control.
They forget that they can only find peace within themselves. It is deep within each of us. They ignore the fact that we all need to work on our own autonomy and self-control. If they sow peace, that will be what they reap.
Don’t ask for perfection if you’re not as human as everyone else
Some people have an overly positive opinion of themselves. They see themselves as a role model for others. They are usually psychologically rigid people, who judge people by rules.
Since they apparently know the rules by heart, they feel they have the right to judge others. They do not understand that they are so scrupulous because of fear or repression.
They don’t want to see that there are other ways to live that are just as valid as theirs. They feel perfect even though they are not, because no one is. But that fantasy justifies, at least in their minds, that they demand perfection from others.
