Emotionally Unreachable People: Experts In Avoiding Intimacy
Emotional ignorance is a major obstacle to relationships. The inability to share feelings is a huge barrier to creating a strong, healthy and lasting relationship. The most important thing is one’s relationship with oneself. In fact, its difficulty is challenging for emotionally unavailable people. Some build walls around their hearts to keep them from feeling vulnerable. Others run away when intimacy comes on the scene.
These people can have emotional immaturity and even love can become a major threat. This does not mean that they do not engage in relationships. But they generally tend to leave the relationships or shut themselves out when they develop feelings. It’s like they always have a shield on their back as an excuse when they need it. This is especially true when the situation requires emotional intimacy.
Emotionally unavailable people are adept at creating distance, building walls, and raising walls to avoid intimate relationships with others. Usually this is unconscious. That’s why it’s so complicated to get out of that kind of emotional depravity.
What are emotionally unavailable people?
Emotionally unavailable people seem to be like everyone else. They have their tastes, their passions, their work, their personal history, their shortcomings and of course their virtues. However, they lack the ability to identify and manage their emotions. They probably never wondered what they are like or maybe they stopped listening to their own misfortune.
They are people with an aura of emotional coldness, who, in the face of even a little suffering, need a way out. They are fugitives from discomfort with a doctorate in self-deception. The same thing happens when the feeling that overwhelms them is too positive. They may enjoy it more, but it can also cause a great deal of fear, especially when it relates to others.
Putting a great emotional distance in their relationships often makes them seem like cold people who show little interest in what’s going on around them. In fact, it’s hard for them to create intimacy so as not to feel vulnerable. In this way , emotional cold is their defense mechanism, the way they have learned to protect themselves from the pain of their past.
Dealing with these people can be very frustrating and complicated, especially in romantic relationships, as emotional intimacy will be nearly impossible. Also, when faced with pain, sadness, or disappointment, they may feel upset, overwhelmed, or have a strong desire to escape.
As discussed, emotional inaccessibility tends to show itself unconsciously. However, these people use much of their psychological energy in avoiding confrontation with their feelings. Because of this, they can only do something if they become aware of what is happening to them. The problem is that their defenses are so automated that they fight hard to be oblivious to their vulnerability.
What can emotionally unavailable people do to end this cycle?
Is it possible to shed light on this strong emotional block? The answer is yes, but it’s not easy. Everything depends on one’s acknowledgment of his problems and the degree of change he wants to bring about.
Therefore, the first step is awareness. If you become aware of yourself and let yourself experience all that the emotional world offers, you can move forward. In this way, pain and fear, both your own and others’, will prove fair. Again with a lot of effort.
The next step is to establish the interaction on an emotional level and learn to identify emotions. The final step is to practice the ability to choose how to respond to different situations. As a result, the automation disappears. This is one of the most powerful tools for people who are emotionally unavailable.
On the other hand, it is also important to mention that people around emotionally unavailable people also need to take care of themselves and exercise understanding if they want to stay with you. And also to work themselves to see how they should act on this. But above all, to understand the reasons that lead to them staying. This is the case according to Gabriella Kortsch, doctor of psychology.
End the relationship
In addition, another important aspect is to understand that in these types of situations, it is not about blaming the partner. Because they may have unresolved conflicts that need to be addressed. Which prompts the other partner to bring it to the surface.
Sometimes ending the relationship can solve the problem because we can’t force the other person to change. Not even to become what he is not. If someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship, it has to end. This is to prevent you from getting into a relationship that becomes more and more untenable.
