Empathy not only helps others, but also ourselves.
What is empathy and what is it good for?
Empathy is the ability to empathize with another person, to try to understand what is going through his head, how and why he feels that way. Not from our own perspective, but rather by trying to think like the other thinks, with his beliefs, his values…
Empathy begins with validation, with understanding that the other person’s feelings are real and valid, even if we would have had different feelings in the same situation.
To explain this simply by means of an example; for us it may not be that important that we have no brothers or sisters, but for someone else it may very well be the case. In this situation , the empathic person would renounce his conception of what is important in this case, in order to understand the suffering that the other person experiences as a result of his conception of what is important in this case.
The degree of empathy
There are people who naturally have this ability, but there are also people who are absolutely incapable of it. Be careful though!
Sometimes we confuse empathy with another concept, a concept that is an integral part of producing empathy. We are talking about the recognition of emotions.
We are talking about the recognition of sadness, joy, fear, anger. There are those who are able to quickly identify the other person’s emotional state and there are others who fail to identify the emotional state of others even if it is slightly exaggerated, even if it is written on their foreheads.
There are, of course, many variables involved in this cognitive part of empathy. The degree to which we are familiar with the person experiencing the emotion, our degree of fatigue, the other person’s communication style, etc.
Empathy has many positive characteristics. It facilitates communication, it allows us to comfort better, solve problems more easily, etc. But empathy can also have a negative side.
Continuously empathizing with everyone else on this earth can cause us to become emotionally disconnected from ourselves, something that can end up costing us dearly.
It is therefore good to learn to empathize with others, but without forgetting that it is still about someone else and not about ourselves. We are ourselves the first to care for.
Examples of empathy
We may be very empathetic people, but if we don’t show this, if we don’t put this into practice, it will be of no use to anyone. Following are some examples of behaviors that demonstrate empathy.
We can listen to the other person and understand their feelings without being too concerned with our own feelings and our own words.We don’t comfort another with words alone. A hug, a pat on the back, a kiss or a simple touch can make us even more empathetic.We help the other person with his problems by, for example, using our sense of humor.
We express ourselves gently and respect the other. We don’t show if the other person bores, irritates or tires us with the stories he tells.
We don’t make comments or jokes that we know will bother the other person.
We let older people or children, for example, know that we understand them, that we understand what they are saying.
We help solve problems and we are able to calm others.
Examples of a lack of empathy
There are also plenty of examples of ways we can behave that show absolutely no empathy.
We think that only our problems are important.
We don’t listen to others. We judge and make mean comments.
We never smile kindly at others, never make a friendly gesture, and are not pleasant company for others.
Every time we do something for someone else, we expect something in return.
Empathy is a good skill to learn as it allows us to understand others, but we have to be careful not to go overboard so we don’t become disconnected from ourselves.
