Growing Through The Pain And Avoiding Suffering

Sometimes life hurts… and sometimes it shakes us so hard that it seems almost impossible to stay upright. When we go through a painful event, we experience intense emotional processes. Processes we were forced into by the harshness of reality. And that require a lot of strength from us to get out again. Because if we don’t, bitterness and pain will consume us. We have to grow through the pain. 

In fact, holding on to our pain is a personal choice. If we remain stuck in our suffering, we may miss out on that inner journey that leads to acceptance, to the silence of understanding and to personal development.

Pain is inevitable and suffering optional…

Both pain and suffering are part of life. We should point out that we often use these two terms as synonyms. However, in order to handle them properly, it is important to understand what sets them apart.

Pain, in its psychological dimension, is an emotion that can arise in certain situations or problems. It affects us physically, emotionally and mentally and lasts until the person can recover. In this sense, pain implies acceptance and being in touch with what we feel. It should also be noted that the duration of the pain is proportional to the severity of the event that aroused this pain in us.

Once the pain has passed, we usually forget it. Advances in science, especially in the field of narcotics and analgesics, have made us less accustomed to pain than our ancestors were. This is a fact that explains why we fear it more and more.

On the other hand, suffering goes one step further. Suffering occurs when we are unable to accept reality and move on with our lives. This state of mind will again and again bring up thoughts and emotions in us that will throw us off balance and make us sick. In this case, suffering would be an unnecessary consequence of pain.

It should be noted that suffering is much more intense and lasting than emotional pain, sometimes even indefinitely. For example, pain is inevitable in the loss of a loved one. If this wound does not heal and close, we will experience suffering. The latter prevents the possibility of acceptance and growing through the pain.

Growing through the pain

Post-traumatic growth occurs when the person accepts what happened and reconstructs their beliefs. It’s a similar process to rebuilding a house after an earthquake. After a painful event, we embrace the opportunity to think about how we want to rebuild our lives.

In addition, these new beliefs that we accept will also promote the development of our resilience. In the same way, during this reconstruction process, most people usually discover strong and characteristic qualities in themselves that they did not know before.

When it comes down to it, it’s our attitude that has the power to make us miserable. According to psychotherapist Joan Garriga, every loss can become an opportunity to grow as a person, to find relief, and to free ourselves from attachments and labels.

At the same time, any painful process carries the risk that we will not be able to overcome it and we may only be able to focus on attitudes that feed our suffering: complaining, feeling yourself a victim, revenge, stubborn, proud. In this regard, it should be noted that pain is a process inherent in life. And it is important that we grow through the pain and understand what we are experiencing in a more enriching way.

Learning gradually

In life we ​​learn about what is painful and what can cause us to suffer. When we encounter the most heart-wrenching pain, we become aware of our weakness. At the same time, we also put ourselves in a position that allows us to know our worth.

And it is on this road that one learns that everything changes and that after the clouds have disappeared, the sun will always shine again with the beauty and strength of a new dawn. And this is when we discover the power that is within us. The strength that helps us to overcome the difficult roads, and the hardness that leads us to these roads.

On the path of pain, we also see that out of chaos always emerges a new order. A new order that has combined learning and experience to move us forward. These times of pain can be easier and easier to handle, and can bring us more and more peace. That way we can grow through the pain. Moreover, they have the potential to be times of great transformation, and of course of great opportunity.