How Can You Detect And Avoid Manipulation?
This sentence may seem like a mystery, but it is the basis for the success of the people who manipulate others. The most common form of manipulation usually occurs within a romantic relationship or between family members, when one person wants to control the behavior of another. So manipulation doesn’t always come from people looking for some sort of personal gain. It also comes from people who think they know where the benefits of another person might lie or from people who try to define their path so that it leads in a certain direction.
It is not easy to discover an experienced and skilled manipulator. His tactics are so subtle that it is very difficult to notice him. In fact, the people around the manipulated person usually notice it for the person themselves. That person usually cannot believe their reality because of the pain it would cause them if it were true.
When a close person manipulates someone, it is almost impossible to comprehend what is happening. For example, in a relationship, both people need to make decisions and voice their opinions without making the other person feel bad, offended, or attacked.
If one of them manipulates the other, it results in an imbalance of power in the relationship. One of the members of the relationship will then assume the dominant role and the other the submissive role. This applies to the daily tasks like dealing with money, exes, the kids, activities, trips, work etc. That is, it can affect all our activities.
Want to know if your partner (or someone close to you) is manipulating you? Then pay close attention to these warning signs. Maybe that’s how you walked into the lion’s den. And if you don’t react in time, you will suffer very serious consequences…
You feel guilty about everything
That’s the feeling the other person has about you. That’s the first symptom. No matter what you do, say or think, you will always be doing something wrong in his eyes. Even though you didn’t make a mistake, he will always try to make you feel guilty.
“You leave me alone to go out with your friends.” “I’m sick and you’re still going to work.” A manipulator is an expert at twisting the facts and always making them work in his favor to make the other person feel responsible and guilty.
You absorb all his traumas
When we are in a relationship with someone, we tend to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes when they tell us something that happened in their childhood or in the past. However, the problem with manipulators is that they take advantage of this fact. For example, they are always looking for constant care.
Their own insecurities and weaknesses are projected onto whoever they face.
“I don’t want you dating because it reminds me of when my ex cheated on my best friend.” “You’d better not go to work so your boss doesn’t bother you like mine does to me.” In this way, they limit your freedom and do not allow you to make decisions for yourself.
They say they are afraid of being abandoned
They can also claim to have a trauma that they have not been able to heal. “I’m afraid you’ll leave me.” “I can not live without you.” “I can’t breathe if you’re not with me.” And none of this is said in a romantic way.
With this tactic, they manage to get their partner to forgive all their mistakes. Remember that the line between understanding and attention and emotional manipulation is thin. Do not allow other people’s problems to fall on your shoulders and hinder your progress.
They make you doubt your own abilities
Before meeting your partner, you would have bragged about your achievements. You thought you were good at certain activities. There were many things about you that you loved. But now you’re not so sure if you really do so well are in bookkeeping, in giving advice, or getting good grades. Keep in mind that these doubts are definitely related to actions or activities that involve other people (work, friendships, studies).
The purpose of the manipulator is that you are always with him and no one else. But it’s also possible that he won’t allow you to do certain things because keeping you helpless allows him to maintain power. This means that because you supposedly don’t have the skills to do certain tasks, the other person has to do them. This undermines your autonomy and generates dependency. It also weakens the person in question and makes him more likely to suffer from future manipulations.
On the one hand, the people who use these types of tactics are usually very skilled and subtle. But on the other hand , we allow, perhaps without realizing it, these things to happen.
For a relationship to work, both people need to be aligned and mutually supportive. If one of them is manipulated, they are not guilty, but it is necessary that they stray from that path so that things don’t get worse.
