Missing One Train… A Missed Opportunity Doesn’t Mean The Odds Are Gone

How many times have you thought about that one thing you lost? Or the train that passed you? Some people talk about the past, about the people they loved and let go. They talk about the job they didn’t get or the journey they could make but didn’t take. Our stories are essential to our present. Because we build our beliefs and our vision of the world around those stories. But a missed opportunity doesn’t mean you’re out of options.

The things that happen in our lives shape us into who we are and what we are as people. And the responsibility for what happens to you almost always rests with you. Because after all, we go through life making decisions all the time. At work, at home, with friends… Why not take a moment to think about how many decisions you make every day?

We are constantly making a choice between options. Once we have a little life experience, we can all clearly remember the moments when the world seemed to stop as soon as we decided to say yes or no. Sometimes it seemed as if a missed opportunity caused our world to collapse.

After “missing” the train… What do you do after a missed opportunity?

The die is cast. And when things go wrong, you can react in many ways. You can point the finger in or out. You can also blame karma or bad luck.

• “I said no because you told me.”
• “You made me lose my confidence and that’s why I didn’t go to that interview.”
• “I didn’t have the courage…”

And that’s how you get into a spiritual noose. You are stuck in a place where you only complain about one missed opportunity.

After a missed opportunity, the next step is to take responsibility for your decision.  Analyze things and deal with the negative emotions that result from your choice. The people around you can give their opinion and tell you what they think about it. It’s true, they have the right to give you their opinion but not to judge you.

The important thing is that you look at where you are now and focus on that. If you just watch the train disappearing on the horizon, you will feel things from the past. But you can’t change it. That is also how you will fill your present with negatively charged feelings such as sadness.

But when you focus on the things you can’t change, the emotions aren’t the worst aspect. Because worse is that you get stuck there. You are then unable to see new opportunities that are as good or even better than the ones you missed.

The only real chance

If you are an insecure indecisive person, you will think about these crucial moments. When everything around you depends on your reaction to something, your thoughts will fly in all directions. Your emotions will then take over. But you can take control of reality and reorient yourself with wisdom. Check out these inspiring bits of folk culture wisdom.

• “You create your possibilities by asking for them.” Shakti Gawain.
• “To your success, jump to possibilities as quickly as to decisions.” Benjamin Franklin.

• “Opportunities are like the sunrise. If you wait too long, you’ll miss them.” William Arthur Ward.
• “Difficulties conquered are opportunities won.” Winston Churchill.

All these statements have something in common. They all talk about ‘possibilities’, in the plural.

But on the other hand, the world has told you that at some point you only get one chance for some things. Maybe someone once told you that to force you to make a decision. But… be careful. This social pressure can paralyze you. It can slow you down when you have to make a decision.

Your big opportunity may be exactly where you are now

Napoleon Hill wrote these words down. He was one of the first authors of self-help books. This thought may not work for everyone or in every situation. But it’s a good starting point nonetheless. Missing a train – a missed opportunity – is not the end of the world. But it will be a painfully long wait if you just stand there and watch the departing trains, instead of looking for the trains arriving.

Even if you missed an opportunity, you still have this:

• The choices you have considered.
• The advice you’ve been listening to.
• The value you give to your own decision.
• The ability to take responsibility for your actions.
• The ability to rebuild after feeling emptiness and missing out.
• The lesson you learned.
• The chance to look ahead to what you will do in a similar situation in the future.

We all miss trains. Sometimes you choose another train. Or you get distracted and don’t arrive on time. Or you stumble when you get up. Maybe you were still asleep when the train left early in the morning.

But remember this: the most important thing is not the train leaving. But it is important what stays with you once the train has left and what you do with it afterwards.